Monday, July 13, 2015

An Addict.

Maybe "I'm addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable".

Sunday, July 12, 2015

What Makes Me Human

"Kalo ibarat kata ya, hati lo itu ya masih berdarah-darah, masih merah. Kalo dibandingin sama kita, yang hatinya udah ditimbun semen, udah beku! Lain!"

"Lo tuh belum merasakan pedihnya hidup, Tene~"

Itu yang akhir-akhir ini sering gue dengar mengenai lika-liku hidup gue lately. Dulu, pernah ada Tarot Reader bilang hidup gue kurang drama. Begitu ada drama, pahit rasanya. Kayak beer Guinness. Walau ada embel-embel "beer"nya, tetep aja rasanya ga enak.

Apapun yang feelings-involved, emang ga enak.

I once stated that it is tiring to have feelings. I just want to be heartless. It seems easier. I did it to several unwanted men in my life. But whatdyaknow that karma worked faster than light; backfired right at my red, blooded heart.

A guy, a friend, who has been foolin around or so, told me, "Actually, Ten, I kinda miss the feeling of being broken hearted...It kinda makes you more human." It got me thinking; so it is better to have this fresh, red blooded, beating heart rather than being heartless...or a cement-covered heart (lol). It is better to get broken again, to get hurt again, as long as it gets my heart bleeding. At least it shows that my heart is still functioning the way it is; masih bisa berdarah, masih bisa berdenyut. Still bleeding, still beating.

Those invisible, fictional scars on my heart...they make me human.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

He's REALLY not that into you

"NO" always means no.
  1. When you ask for his phone number and you finally get it, he doesn't bother to ask yours. Because he doesn't need it or he knows that you will text him anyway......to ruin his solitude.
  2. You finally have the courage to start a small talk over a chat, but all he does is just answering your questions. Nope. He won't bother to ask what you are up to. No, girlfriend, no.
  3. You two are going out together, either it's with some friend or just you two. He never try to get you involved in a conversation. He even find your boring friends that you just introduced to him far more interesting than you. Poor bitch.
  4. or he finds out his phone is far more interesting than starting a convo with you. Because he finds you basic....yeah, I mean BORING. Ok, ok, or maybe he doesn't know what topic suits you. MAYBE.
  5. Ok, fine. He doesn't mind hanging out with you. But when you drop him off, will he text you to make sure you arrive home safely? HE WON'T. Even tho there a lot of bad rumors about criminal and so. Simply because you ARE NOT THAT important. I have a lot of guy friends and none of them ask me that. They usually will, the next day, over lunch, if they're remember. All I know, if you're somehow matter to him, he will ask you. Just like my guy friends. They're actually concerned but just not a priority. So...the conclusion is...you get it, right?
  6. Oh, sometimes he's just plain nice and gentleman. Hold the door for you and stuff. BUT, when you're almost hit a bike because you forgot to check your sidemirror and even he doesn't notice because he's too busy with his phone and not even bothered to check? THINK AGAIN. No, really. Think again. Get the positive side; maybe he's busy dealing his work over his phone so that's why he doesn't notice (yea, rite).
  7. You think you're having fun with him and expect things escalate quickly? Don't get your hopes up, girlfriend. Is he even text you when he sees something that reminds him of you? He DOESN'T, right? Even my guy friends sometimes text VUT (Very Unimportant Things) to me when they see something that reminds them of me. YES, girlfriend. Don't you get it?

 HE'S REALLY, REALLY, NOT THAT INTO YOU.

AND 

NOT EVEN CONSIDERED YOU AS ONE OF HIS FRIENDS

YOU'RE JUST A FVCKIN ACQUAINTANCE.


Get over it, girlfriend.

Yeah, keep him to your list and maintain those other guys while you try to face the obvious fact that he's not interested...or maybe he's just enjoying his time being single and so. OR MAYBE HE'S A FVCKIN UNICORN.

Here's the perfect BGM to complete your misery:



Be strong. Remember those other guys. Yup, use em as the rebound guys. Have fun. Just try not to stay awake at night. You know the legend; If you're awake around 2 am and he's the one who crossed your mind; YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Current Situation







How did my focus stop?
I'd never let desire lead me blind
(Can't get enough)
Oh, no the voice is strong
You know you've done me wrong
I'll never let a feeling lead my mind


I gotta rise above, don't need to fret
Cause if I would take you home
What's left when the day has gone
I'll never let a feelin' lead my mind

Would you like to know me better, baby?

Then you could show me, better, maybe?
Well, I'm sure don't wanna waste your time
Sure don't wanna waste your time
So lemme tell you that I'd be better off without you

I'd never let desire lead me blind (oh, give it up)
Freeze frame, I dodge that shot
I think the picture's not good enough
I'd never let a feeling lead my mind
I gotta rise above, don't need to fret

Cause I would rather be alone
Than with you when the danger's on

I'll never let a feelin' lead my mind




Saturday, June 21, 2014

Your Shades of Cool







My baby lives in shades of blue
Blue eyes and jazz and attitude
He lives in California too
He drives a Chevy Malibu
And when he calls, he calls for me, and not for you
He lives for love, he loves his drugs, he loves his baby too

But I can't fix him, can't make him better
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

But you are unfixable
I can't break through your world
‘Cause you live in shades of cool
Your heart is unbreakable

My baby lives in shades of cool
Cool heart and hands and aptitude
He lives for love, for women too
I'm one of many on his blue
And when he calls, he calls for me, and not for you
He prays for love, he prays for peace, and maybe someone new

But I can't help him, can't make him better
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

Cause you are unfixable
I can't break through your world
Cause you live in shades of cool
Your heart is unbreakable



Sunday, June 15, 2014

What That Guy Said

"You know you’re attractive, right? So with that vibe, you’re kinda transmitting your signal, the attraction signal. Let’s say it like this; I happen to find your frequency and I like the music."

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Yours is.





cr: Wasted Rita